Tag Archives: men

What I learned about Tinder

Yes…I finally drank the kool-aid and joined the notorious dating app popular among milliennials.  I initially went on it just to browse, but did end up going on a few Tinder dates.  My experiences surprised me.  Here are a few things I learned:

  1.  My Tinder dates are actually much better than dates I meet in “real life”…

I was pleasantly surprised by this, because until I finally joined the app, I only heard of “Tinder dates” along with “horror stories”.  I remember being almost terrified before my very first Tinder date, expecting at best to be stood up at the bar, only to meet a tall, handsome high school history teacher with a sweet personality and have a great conversation.  Another one had me meet him at a used bookstore (I didn’t even mention anything about loving books in my profile, but this wins huge points for me) and had the nicest arms I had ever seen.  Another date was this dreamy soccer player whom I would have otherwise been too intimidated to approach.

I guess this pattern can be attributed to the fact that Tinder does have selection filters, so you can ensure that the guy you end up on a date with meets your minimum standards (like age, appearance, etc.)  Also, the chat option gives you a chance to filter out any of the weird ones before you meet them in person.

2.  …But there is never any follow up.

You would think from the above description that I have married one of those guys by now, but alas.  After the euphoria of a great date settles, it eventually does sink in that Tinder is a creepy iPhone hook-up app, and I didn’t put out after we finished our craft beers.  Or I may have bored my dates to death.  One of those two.

(…..Has anyone continued to date their Tinder date???  Please comment below!)

3.  Guys are much better in person than in text.

Pretty much all of the guys I have mentioned on here were extremely boring texters (but not weird or creepy.)  It always led me to having extremely low expectations of them until the date.

…So in conclusion, Tinder has allowed me to meet a few elusive Prince Charmings I don’t run into often.  Now the question is, how to zap them into real life dating!

 

Do people who like drunken sex really like sex?

…Is the winning question!

But really, I have always wondered – what is the appeal of having half-asleep, drunken sex at 2 in the morning?  I never understood this.

Anyone who knows me knows that I like sex.  A lot.  And I like to have a lot of it.

I enjoy it so much that I actually like doing it sober and while I am conscious – not when I feel like I am about to pass out.  Whenever a guy only booty calls me after 12 a.m. while he is hammered, I’m going to go ahead and assume this guy really doesn’t find me all that appealing, but for some reason wants to smash me anyway.

I am not actually against casual sex or the occasional fling, but it will only happen on my end if the guy exhibited a willingness to see me during waking hours, and maybe after sharing a (just one!) glass of wine.

10th Annual Wine Walk

Dating Advice from Someone Who Doesn’t Know How to Date: How do I make him interested in me?

So last time, I discussed ways to tell if a guy is interested in you.  Now, we delve a little further: how can you make a guy interested in you?

If you can tell from the title of this category, I am no dating guru.  I am not going to sit here and pretend I know all the voodoo mind tricks you can use to hypnotize a dude into getting an erection when he looks at you.

Here is the thing: think about what makes you attracted to a guy.  Not only physically, but physically and personality-wise (i.e. the whole package.)  The truth is, it is hard to tell.  You actually don’t really have control over who you’re attracted to.  I was once attracted to a guy who played golf, is blond, and is a software engineer.  However, I could meet another guy with all of these characteristics and not be attracted to that guy.

Attraction is very complex.  It is also difficult to manipulate your attraction to people.  Sure, you can grow attracted to someone when you weren’t initially, but that is still largely out of your control.  Have you ever successfully forced yourself to be attracted to someone?  I know I haven’t.

So the question is, if you can’t manipulate your attraction to others, is there a way to manipulate someone else’s?

There are decent tips out there on how to make things work in your favor.  Showering, being positive, and not being an asshole are some of them.

However, in the end of the day, you don’t have that much control over what a guy thinks of you.  If you ever find yourself in a situation where you like the guy, but are not sure if he likes you back, remember that it is okay to like him even if the feeling is not mutual.

You are not obligated to win the approval of every guy you date.  You’re allowed to like guys even if they don’t like you back.  In the event that you do find yourself liking a guy, let him know!  Text him saying you had a great time, and be nice to him.  However, if he doesn’t reciprocate, don’t push it.  Just move on and continue being your charming self until the right one comes along.

Dating Advice from Someone Who Doesn’t Know How to Date: Is He Interested?

Hi all, I am a 24-year old cis female heterosexual vagabond, and for some reason, people tend to ask me for dating advice. I date semi-frequently and am still single, so I have no idea why they do. The only advice I think I am qualified to give is sex advice to guys. But I did have something to say about a popular question: How can you tell if a guy (or girl, for that matter) is interested?

The short answer to this question is, you can tell when he acts interested. And trust me, deep deep down, you already know if he is interested. Commence listicle!

1.) He talks to you.

He asks questions to you about you – your life, your career, your interests, etc.

Yes, there are shy guys out there who don’t ever speak to you, but secretly like you. They don’t matter as, in the end of the day, you can’t date someone you never interact with (although making the first move is always an option.)

If a guy never initiates interaction with you given multiple opportunities – including you initiating a few times – then, well, he probably does not care to interact with you that much.

Trust me, I learned this from experience.

2.) When he does interact with you, he seems happy about it.

He smiles, laughs, and genuinely seems to be enjoying your presence.  If he seems bored, in pain, or constipated every time you two have a conversation…not good sign.  Also, eye contact.

Exactly How To Know FOR SURE If A Guy Likes You

3.) Body language.

Behavioral psychologists are much more equipped to give advice on this, but if he is turned toward you and not away from you, that is great start.  If he doesn’t mind leaning in and being in close proximity to you – congratulations, you don’t smell.  Also, he doesn’t mind touching you.  If a guy voluntarily touches you affectionately, it is a clear sign he does not find you repulsive.  Of course, the extent to which he does this when you two are not yet dating needs to be appropriate, but the definition of that is up to you.

If you are still in the dark about this, I find this trick to work: When you two are hanging out and sitting in close enough proximity, “accidentally-on-purpose” rest your knee or ankle against his leg (DO THIS SUBTLY).  If he doesn’t automatically jerk away his leg, that is a good sign.

4.) Go with your gut.

I strongly believe that, like I said in the beginning, you will know deep down when you aren’t over-analyzing.  Do you notice if he treats you a little more special than everyone else, or is he just nice to you like he is to everyone else?  There is a difference!  Also, some guys do flirt deceptively, so watch closely.  Is he only flirting with you, or with you and your friends?  Then, he is flirting, but not because he particularly likes you (there is a reason this post is not titled “Signs He is Flirting…”

In conclusion, these signs indicate if he is interested in you, but it’s still hard to tell how much.  Is he only interested in you for a one night stand, marriage, or something in between?  No idea.  Time will tell the truth.  But until then, flirt away!

Also, check out this more competent advice article: http://www.vixendaily.com/love/know-if-a-guy-likes-you/

One of my favorite books: 7 Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey

It’s been awhile since I wrote, but I remember my last post being about some healthy lifestyle choices.  Today, I was remembering a book I read a long time ago, back when I was in high school, but the very positive impact it has had on my life until this day.  Every time I need to re-orient my life and my decisions, I remember the advice I read in this book.  The book is “7 Habits of Highly Effective People“, and I highly recommend it if you have not read it yet.  I still re-read parts of the book over and over again to remind myself of the habits I could be working on.  Here is a breakdown of what Mr. Covey talks about in the book:

Part 1: Take care of yourself.  (Independence)  Here are some good habits for doing this:

1. Be proactive

This is understanding that you are in the driver’s seat of your own life.  Stop worrying about what you can’t control, and take action on what you can control.

2. Begin with the end in mind

Always have goals and a purpose.  Focus on being productive.

3. Put first things first.

Don’t procrastinate!

Part 2: Work on your relationships with others (Interdependence)

4. Think Win-Win

Be diplomatic in your relationships and arguments.

5. Seek first to understand, then be understood.

Be empathetic and be a good listener.

6. Synergize.

Cooperate and work as a team.

Part 3: General lifestyle

7. Sharpen the Saw

This one goes with my third point in my previous post, and that is don’t forget to take care of yourself!  Relax, recharge, and take care of your spiritual, emotional, and physical health.

Like I said, each of these habits for me is a work in progress.  Sometimes, I feel defeated when things don’t go my way (#1), or I forget to be a good listener (#4).  But thank you, Mr. Covey, for being a great help!